Seamore Clouds was a middle aged man who came
from a weathly background. He always
had a look of anger in his eyes that could make
Satan himself cringe. Seamore was the type of
man who always had to get his way. Electing him
to office was the biggest mistake that any
American citizen could have ever made. It was
nearly impossible to overthrow his power as
he had brainwashed more people that not, and
his cronies held most of the enterprises and power.
If you tried to compromise his authority you
were banished on the spot. Seamore wanted a
perfect society and that would be just what he
would receive.
During President Clouds reign the whole economy
started to change drastically. After the ban of
alcohol, cigarette's and cheap frozen pizza's
the country just seem to lose its hope and its
will to keep going on. Pornography had been chosen
as the new drug of choice. Instead
of shooting up, or downing a few cold ones people
would just acquire pornography to relax
after a hard days work at the office. This did
not sit well with President Clouds. Wanting all
possible control that he could muster it was
deemed that he wanted pornography stopped.
Pornography being easy to come by, and even easier
to pass through the underground
systems of the United States would be hard to
stop the pocession of this Illegal substance.
Seamore decided it was time to put an end to this
abuse against the U.S government. Money
could not be made that did not pass through the
hands of President Clouds first. The president
and his board of advisors decided it was time
to introduce America to the new and improved
national guard. The country was going to be forced
into resistance by 4'3 feet, abnormal human
beings programmed by the U.S government. We refer
to these cold blooded enforcers as "Smurfs".
The once loved cartoon that was watched by millions
of children now took care of the country's
problems to try and force a safer community in
which we live in. Everyone had been brainwashed
into believing that these adorable beings could
actually help us, but contrary to popular belief they
are really cold blooded killers. People can not
walk down the street after 5 p.m. without having
a Green Card, saying where they are going and
what time they will return. If this rule is broken
then the penalty is to serve 20 years to life
in a soap manufacturing company.
Soap once being used as a cleanser is now being
used for the sole purpose to keep people in line. Once injected into the
bloodstream, this soap rids you of all wrong doings and you are assimilated
like the rest of the semi-american government. This soap is made of hallucinogenic,
which control your main central nervous system and control you for whatever
they desire you to do. The plan
is to inject everyone with this substance and
then everything will go as planned for Seamore.
Seamore could inject everyone at once with this
toxin, but that would be to obvious and could
cause an uprising. This was the last thing Seamore
wanted, so he would just carry out his plan
to its full extent.
The nation is in dire straights and needs a hero,
Bruce Willis being ninety years old at this point
would be of little help so there was only one
other man that could be called upon. They
needed someone really great, someone grander
than a grand piano, someone who was just
incredible. Would this man be able to step up
to the plate in time to save the country from
a fate of monotone living conditions. Our hero
finds himself in the only part of the country that
the law refuses to invade. This part is called
Morrow County, Ohio. It's right outside the capital
yet the conditions of living and the standards
of its peoples are just to unbearable to fit in with
the rest of there brain-washed America. The people
that reside in this area are known as
"Hilljacks" referred to by city folks that are disgusted by the inbred,
unbathed people from
Morrow County. The center of these slums is known
as the "hills", a once beautiful landscape
turned ugly by garbage, pollutants, and cars
on blocks. When you are in this area you will
find lots of drugs, alcohol, pornography and
tractor races. It's the only place in America
that you can find these conditions, sort of like
a Disneyland for some people. Our soon to be
hero who goes by the name Justin Credible resides
in this area of country because he refuses
to live by the standards of everyday American
life.
He spends his days working in the rat infested,
high priced gas station that fuels the rest of the community. Once thought
a dull and meaningless job gas stations no longer serve gas. Gas has
long been outdated and replaced by Oreo Cookies,
which have to be crushed into a fine powder in the back and mixed with
water and heated to a warm boil. This is a lot more effective than regular
gas and lasts longer also. Justin is known as the Peoples President for
the slums of Morrow County, he is a natural born leader. Mr. Incredible
spends his nights at a local pub called "the hula-hoop". Half naked women
in bikini's, dancing around in hula-hoops and drinking warm milk is how
Justin relaxes after a hard day of working. This is where the upper class
part of morrow county hangs out, there was no harmful substances or uninvited
illegal products.
The Hula Hoop is located right on the edge of
the safe line border. If you cross this border
than you will be arrested immediately and sent
off to work in the soap mines. To enter and
exit Morrow County there is a tunnel leading
out the back entrance known to the locals as
I-71. Having been unguarded for years it's a
safe way to enter and exit Morrow County.
One night at the Hula hoop, after Incredible had
enjoyed his second glass of milk and
was working on the third. A group of men appeared
in the doorway of the Hula Hoop.
They were dressed in cowboy attire and walked
with an extra bounce in their step,
these men were feared by all those who looked
them in the eyes. They were unmerciful
and cowardly like. They would never attack a
man face to face, or toe to toe, they always
struck from behind and in numbers, leading everyone
to believe that they were a powerful
force in the Morrow County economy.
As the three men entered the Hula Hoop, everyone became silent. Even the band stopped playing. The men circled the place a couple times and sat down at the bar and each ordered a cup of carrot juice on the rocks. As the minutes passed the place began to pick up again. Sounds of laughter were heard once more and the band continued playing "Pretty Fly" by the Offspring. It was like the three men had never even been there, Justin had just finished his drink, slammed it down on the table and was beginning to stand up when he looked over at the bar.
There he saw something that he had not seen in
a while, sitting by the bar drinking a
glass of ice cold distilled water was the most
intriguing woman that he had ever seen. The dimly lighted bar all of a
sudden was brighter then ten suns going into super nova. Justin stood there
in awe for a few seconds and then realized that
it was time to head home. Just as he was about
to go something caught his eye. The young lady
that he admired so much seconds ago
was being harassed by the three outlaws that
had entered the bar just minutes before. Justin
knew the fables and the stories about the outlaws
and how if you crossed them it surely
meant that there would be a cross upon you, but
he could not stand idly by and let this
young lady be attacked by these three oversized
vulgar men.
Justin not knowing what to do, Justin strolled
up to the bar right next to the three outlaws and the
young lady. He approached the bar and gave the
young lady a wink to let her know that
he was there to help. As he stepped to the bar,
he bumped on of the three men in the back making the man stumble a bit,
Justin: Bartender a double of scotch please?
The bartender knowing that Justin did not drink
knew that something was up, and he also knew
that the young lady was being harassed but dared
not do anything for the fact they would take
him out on the spot. By this time the man that
Justin had bumped was quite furious and was ready to tear Justin limb for
limb.
Justin: Oh I'm so sorry sir, did i accidentally bump you, I am so sorry, let me buy you a drink?
The man looked Justin in the eyes like a wild
animal does before it attacks its prey. The three
men started to step towards Justin as they filled
there role behind the man that Justin had bumped.
The man, being the biggest of three and naturally
the leader of them started to speak:
Man #1: Do you know who the hell I am son!
The man shouted throughout the bar and once again
everyone was quiet and prepared to duck
for cover not sure what was going to happen next.
Justin: Why yes......., yes sir I do!
Justin said with a tremble in his voice.
Justin: Please let me buy you a drink sir as i am terribly sorry?
The men had taken there attention off the young
lady and she had escaped out of the picture
while they all stared down Justin, waiting to
see what the first man's move would be.
Man #2: Take em out Giant,
Giant: Now.. Now, Scott, the boy said he was sorry, We don't want anyone getting the wrong idea of us here do we? Why yeah, Hell buy all my friends a drink while your at it. Make it a Triple Tequila on the rocks, with a hint of acid.
Justin: You heard the man, barkeep
The barkeep who had not moved an inch during this
conversation was still frozen in his point
and suddenly grabbed the bottle of tequila and
starting pouring. He spilled tequila all over the
bar before finally giving the men there drinks.
His hand was shaking and he almost dropped
the drinks as he went to hand them to the men.
Scott: No wait I think I'll have a Budweiser, What the hell make it both!
The barkeep rushed and but the three tequilas down on the bar and the men picked them up and slammed them down like water. Just then the barkeep put down the bottle of Bud. The second man started to reach for it but Justin knowing that after the drinks the guys were going to make a mockery of him in front of everyone, and in teenage slang "open a can of whoop ass" on him, grabbed the bottle first and smashed him on the head with it. This barely phased the man. The man just got a fierce look of anger in his eyes like something that Justin had never seen before and started to charge him. Justin being quicker than the men stepped aside and tried to make his way out of the bar. All three men were in pursuit now, and almost had Justin cornered. Tables and chairs were being flipped everywhere, people were scrambling for the door, the barkeep knowing his own life was in danger, threw Justin a billy club that he had been keeping under the counter. Justin caught the club just as the man were getting closer to catching him. With all his might Justin just started swinging, like he had never swung before, the hits each connecting just seemed to stun the men as they kept coming back for more. Finally one of the men grabbed Justin and held him to where he could not move. Just as the men were about to work him over,
Giant: Wait a min boys, wait a min. I have plans
for this one. People in these parts say we
don't fight honorable, say we don't earn our
keep, well me and this boy's going to have it out
in the front, one on one. What do you say partner?
The man sat Justin down and Justin was about to run again but all three men had him cornered.
Justin: Well I guess i have no choice do I, John Wayne?
Giant: No son, no you don't but if you win *the man starts to chuckle* if you win you get to walk away and we wont touch your girl over there that you have seemed to take a liking to so much.
The men start to laugh at each other in the thoughts
that Justin could actually win. The man
was twice Justin's size and had a mean streak
the size of Manhattan, Justin had just beat him
several times with a billy club to no effect.
What was he going to do? During this time Justin looked over and saw the
young lady peeking from behind the bar to see what was happened. They stared
at each other for a few minutes and finally Justin was drug to the outside.
Scott: Looks like were going to have ourselves a good old fashioned ho-down!!!
The men exit along with Justin and people crowd to the doors and windows, and align the streets with the word that the outlaws were going to rip Justin apart.